The Anywhere But Here Place

In 2007, the biggest pop star in the world, Brittney Spears, buzzed her luscious locks off. The Princess of Pop had finally popped. The once best selling teenage artist of all time, a sex symbol who hip hopped through controversy, MTV awards, and Justin Timberlake, was now bald and broken. And I was mesmerized. I remember thinking, “Oh Britney, a mullet, a perm, anything, why so drastic?” 

I think it’s because drastic change feels good. A crazy haircut gives us a feeling of momentum, of moving forward. Like we’re getting closer to who we want to be. Minor changes for something major. That’s exactly what Britney claimed when she shaved her head, “A fresh start from artificiality” she would later tell the press. To the world, Britney went nuts, but to her it was a  bold move forward. Like getting a tattoo or switching up your style, bold moves are an outward expression of wanting inward change. 

Meet Allie

You know that person who you think is really funny, but they don’t fully see it? That’s Allie. She’s my favorite mix of kindness, hilarity, hard-working, and easy-going. She’s super faithful at church. Also as a beloved babysitter, she possesses that rare skill of making kids feel special. And with Allie, you do, because she’s naturally fun. Currently, she works while attending a local community college with plans to pursue a career in social work. 

Allie: I didn’t want to stay here. After high school, I really wanted to go to college in Texas. 

Julie: That’s far, why’d you decide there?

Allie: It was Christian, same denomination as my church, the major I wanted, but really, I just wanted to leave. 

Julie: Detroit in January, I can’t imagine why. 

Allie: Ha, more like I just wanted something new. I wasn’t trying to get away from trouble. I just wanted a fresh start. To be independent. To move forward and have my own thing. Just to leave same old, same old. Leaving felt cool and brave. 

Those were my words fifteen years ago. Allie and I attended the same church and grew up in the same area. The same, safe suburban utopia of strip malls, family diners, and a Walgreens on every corner. It was a great place to grow up, but we both felt a need to leave the nest. Leave home, go adventuring, and come back changed. I went to Florida for college and had a great experience, I even met my husband, but I didn’t change that much. In fact, I was surprised to find that whatever problems I tried to leave behind followed me to my dorm room. I changed addresses but didn’t change my heart. Every quirk piggybacked its way to the sunshine state. 

Julie: But you didn’t go, so happened?

Allie: Yay things didn’t work out, so I stayed back and hated it. Totally despised my hometown. Totally felt trapped. I was certain that if just left home, everything would be better. 

The Road Trip Myth 

I love road trip movies. Sure they’re a formulaic Hollywood cash grab, but there’s something comfy about them. The plot is always the same, but one of my favorite road trip films is called Crossroads. And it just so happens to star the famous and talented, Brittney Spears. Thankfully she’s sporting a full head of hair in that one.

These simply plotted movies always involve a group of friends desperate to change their boring lives. They start driving and it’s one changing landscape, conflicts, and colorful character after another. After overcoming various obstacles, everyone learns important lessons about themselves along the way.

The appeal of a road trip is universal. How often are we drooling over exotic Insta pics? Scrolling through a travel influencer’s page over cold ham sandwiches in the breakroom. Working a boring job, driving the same daily commute, or changing a messy diaper, and then you scroll past a flawless model on the prow of a yacht overlooking the turquoise Mediterranean waters. And what really stings, they feel the need to add motivational text like, “Choose Adventure!”

Gee, thanks for the advice. Why didn’t I- “choose adventure?” Who wouldn’t push over their cubicle and peace-out their boss for Paris? Who wouldn’t want a besties road trip instead of a group project in economic class? But we can’t. So we continue to work, pay bills, make dinner, attend class, feed the dog, take out the trash. And a lot of life feels monotonous. But within changing diapers and cleaning kitty litter, character is forging. A character more content on growing at home than moving out. 

For some, the idea of leaving a safe, loving home is crazy. But the drive to move on isn’t teen angst or ungratefulness. It’s the need to experience things and feel a sense of progression. Stagnation can be depressing. And the simplest way to run from stagnation is to run out to a new place. But sometimes we can get so focused on moving on that we forget to grow up. 

Julie: You have a great family and friends, did your outlook affect your relationships?

Allie:  My attitude was awful. I sort of checked out. Like I hung out with them, but was distant. I was so consumed with wanting to be over there that any reminder of home just annoyed me. So I separated myself from my friends, family, and church. Since I worshipped God at my home church, following Him felt like another annoyance. 

Our Hometown of Discontent  

It’s funny how we can turn on the very place that nurtured our soul, brought us friends, birthed happy memories. Because wherever we’re at, we know deep down, that familiar place is more than concrete roads, family diners, and parks. It’s home. Full of flaws, but beautifully familiar. Our point of origin. Our DNA woven within busy crossroads. Our birthplace in creating who we will be.

Allie didn’t know it, but the place that made her frustrated was really discomfort in herself, and a move couldn’t fix it. Many undergo drastic changes to feel something new. You can backpack across Europe munching on croissants with epic landscape profile pics, but still be annoying. You can jump into another relationship expecting excitement, only to find similar boredom. You can take up base jumping, learn pottery, speak Mandarian, get your nose fixed, but still be cynical. External changes without character just leaves us empty. 

Julie: So you’re frustrated now, what happened?

Allie: My friends sort of held an intervention. 

Julie: What? You thought you were going to a job interview, and they surprised you with sappy letters?

Allie: Ha, no, they just called me out. My church friends, have been my friends since I was a kid, so they know me, and knew I was heading down the wrong path. They let me know that my attitude wasn’t only hurting me, but also them. I mean it wasn’t fun hearing it, but they were right. It’s hard to hear your closest friends say they don’t like being with you. It hurt to hear, but I knew it was out of love, and deep down, I knew they were right. 

Julie: That’s rare for friends to do that. Most friendships are pretty shallow. But to have friends speak truth with love is rare, and probably something you couldn’t replace in Texas.

Allie: Yeah, I thought about that a lot, and that turn into gratefulness, which helped change my attitude. Then I started to get into a routine of filling my life with God’s wisdom through worship, sermon podcasts, and reading His word. It was like my whole perspective of home shifted. I knew my need for change had to begin with me.

Being the Change

A cliche mantra in road trip movies is the phrase: It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Allie didn’t make it to Texas, and her IG feed isn’t full of Texan icons, but it’s okay, she’s sleeping well into the night. Instead, she boldly decided to be the change. To choose a brave Christian walk within her home town.

Allie: It was English 101, and my professor assigned an essay based on a topic of our choice. I chose to write about the harms of abortion. I got my paper back, and could read her frustrated commentary. So much so, she asked me to read my paper in front of the entire class, and also instructed the class to write what they thought on little slips of paper. 

Julie: So wait- so were singled out? She asked nobody else?

Allie: Right. 

Julie: That’s crazy, and totally biased.  

Allie: Yeah, somewhere I learned that we need to speak truth even with a shaky voice. So I read it, and had that shaky voice. At the end, she made some awkward comments, and the students wrote stuff and passed it her way. I didn’t see the comments. But after class, I got a bunch of emails from my classmates saying what I did was courageous, I spoke truth, and they supported me. 

Julie: How’d you feel?

Allie: It felt good. I was proud of myself. For once, I did something daring. I stood up for myself, I stood up for truth. I wasn’t ashamed of my faith.

From that moment Allie experience big change. The real transformation from being a church attender to becoming a disciple of Christ- a voice of hope within her community college. She didn’t have to travel to make a difference. A ten minute encounter transformed her outlook. A life boldly content on being worthy of Christ.

The Secret of Contentment

In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul says: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

I love this, because Paul’s life was never in a state of boredom. His letters to the church are filled with constant change. Continual shifting gears to manage church dysfunction, a shipwreck, hostile towns, persecution by stoning, meanwhile celebrating miracles and Jesus message of hope. He’s ability to move feels almost mythical. We tend to assume Bible characters were angelic, removed from emotional distress. On the contrary, they were humans. Flesh and bone, like me and you. Different eras, same struggles. It’s all about attitude. 

During one journey, Paul and Silas, are imprisoned. Shackled in a place much like a primitive dungeon. With rancid smells, screams of the condemned, and complete darkness, they were trapped. Paul and Silas had done everything right, but were stuck in a place of no hope. They could have blamed God and quit the faith. But they didn’t and instead summoned a supernatural attitude from dwelling in the One who gives us supernatural strength. So around midnight, they praise the Lord. They exalted Jesus despite their circumstances, and a miracle happened. An earthquake shook the prison’s foundation, their shackles broke open. They even led the prison guard to salvation before leaving. 

Paul and Silas were trapped, but chose to change their circumstances and not accept them at face value. They had a job to do, and even in the belly of fear, they saw an opportunity to spread hope. Allie felt trapped too, but when she changed her attitude she saw that God didn’t want her to move on until she dealt with some things, she finally felt freedom and peace. I think that’s a great encouragement for all of us. Maturity doesn’t happen when you run from your problems, but when you confront them. Can you ever really leave problem things if they keep following you until you deal with them? No. That’s my hope for you. Don’t leave until you have dealt with the things, all of the things, right where you’re at. Create a sense of completeness in your present situation, then you can move on. I pray that as different doors of life open and close, you learn to be active in action and content in attitude. Be of use and be at peace. Everyone knows at least one girl who’s traveled to multiple countries and has a killer Instagram account, but still makes the same stupid life decisions over and over. Change of location is fun, but it’s never as powerful as change of heart and mind. We need you to be strong and change the community Christ has put you in. Isn’t that why He placed you in that particular community? Once you have been faithful and thorough in the things you’re supposed to be, then God will let you move on to your next adventure.